My Ass Is CAKED With CRAP! Fix It!

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"My Ass Is CAKED With CRAP! Fix It!" Oh hello, toilet! I need to use you. You're not busy doing anything else, are you? Nah, of course not. You're a toilet! It's all you're good for ;) I dump three logs right onto your FACE and enjoy how pleasurable and fast each one snakes out of my aching bootyhole. I stand up and see you're not chewing fast enough!! Umm, hello??? Go FASTER! :) I want a toilet worth a damn!